Dark romantasy and scifi author
BLUE MOON:
A Surge Series Short Story
This is a short story within the Surge Series universe. This is an exclusive excerpt. Please do not share this post with others. Enjoy!
1: Charlotte
“I’m sorry. I’ve met someone else.”
I wanted to crumble and die. I was clutching my bag on the transport shuttle, teetering between screaming and crying as I was transferred back to the Nexus. I was a doctor. I’d worked hard my whole life and when I met Allan, he assured me that my drive and work ethic was part of my charm. And I trusted him.
I met Allan before I got hired to go to Earth’s giant space city. I convinced myself that the opportunity to work in space was worth the time it would take away from us being together and that in the long run, he’d understand. A few months in space. A few months home. Lots of couples worked that way. I was even more hopeful when we reached our one-year anniversary and he hadn’t moved out of the apartment when I returned on leave.
But it turned out Allan was as good at leaving as he was convincing me he was going to stay. I expected a proposal. I got a half-empty apartment and a video message that made the last four years of my life a big waste of my time.
I felt sick. And not because of the transport shuttle. I didn’t get motion sick, which was one of the many reasons I was qualified to work on the Nexus. I was feeling sick because my emotions had formed a big ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.
When the shuttle docked, I was quick to get up and find a project to sink into. I needed the distraction and according to my superiors, my bedside manner was in high demand at the moment. In other words, I was tolerant and good under pressure, so I’d been missed. I had chosen to return after one month rather than spending my full four months planet-side because… well… Earth was a bit of a drag with him on it.
I got off the shuttle with my one bag and started walking toward the elevators like a robot. I’d made that trek a hundred times and I could do it with my eyes closed. Which I practically was because my focus was on the giant, black expanse outside the transparent energy shields dividing space from the docking bay. I wondered if I could just run up to it and step through and then all my emotional problems would go away. I wasn’t used to them. I was the logical type. Emotions were a waste of time for the ambitious and yet I had let Allen into my life and into my head. And he screwed me over.
“Hey, Charlotte,” someone said.
I was snapped out of my fantasies of disappearing into space when Tasha came jogging up to me in her white doctor’s uniform. She was young, spry, and far too energetic for me at the moment, but I put on a smile, like always, as if nothing in my life was a big dumpster fire.
“Welcome back,” she said, her auburn ringlets bouncing in her thick ponytail as she trotted next to me.
“Thank you, Ms. Tildale,” I said.
She snorted. “Ms. Tildale? Awkward. So? How was leave?”
“Uneventful.”
Tasha wasn’t always the brightest crayon in the box, but she was decent at reading people. I could tell she knew something was off. Maybe I was trying to cover it up too hard.
“Ok, what’s up?” she said. “You were all smiles when you left.
Now you’re back early and I’ve never seen a deeper frown.”
I straightened, hoisting my bag onto my shoulder. I would have tried to outpace Tasha if she wasn’t five inches taller than me with legs up to her throat. Alas, I was an astounding five-foot-two and felt like I had to take two steps for everyone else’s one. Not only that, but the free food and amenities on the Nexus had added twenty pounds to the scale that Allan was very vocal about in his cowardly breakup message. In other words, I wasn’t the petite, curvy redhead he found at the bar four years ago. I was the product of long work hours and no-bullshit. I hadn’t refreshed my hair dye in a year, which left it in its original light brown condition, and my tits weren’t getting any younger. I was a woman who’d seen and experienced a lot and I used to wear that fact with pride… until Allan made me feel like it was my biggest flaw.
“Char?” Tasha said as we entered the elevator. The doors closed, giving us some privacy. “What the hell happened? Please don’t tell me someone died.”
“No one died,” I sighed. Except my self-esteem.
“So? Spill it.”
I plastered on the flattest expression I could conjure trying to deter her, but Tasha was a whore for gossip and I knew she wouldn’t stop asking until she knew something.
“If you must know, Allen broke up with me,” I conceded.
“What? Are you serious? I thought you said he was going to propose.”
“I thought he would, but turns out I’m bad at reading people because he left me a parting message before I returned and took all of his stuff.”
“He didn’t even want to face you? What a fucking coward.”
"Oh, it gets better. He also felt the need to tell me I work too much, I didn’t care about him, and that I’d ‘let myself go.’” I looked down at my rather plump body, which I never thought of as ugly, and shook my head wondering if I’d just been delusional the past year. “I’ve gained a bit, but I’ve always been hefty. And I just turned forty. Was I supposed to stay thirty-five forever?” I cupped my breasts and squeezed. “Are the ladies not supposed to sag a little? They’re tired! I’m tired.”
“Your tits are great! I hope my tits look as great as yours in ten years.”
“Thanks,” I pouted.
“Oh, girl, I’m sorry.”
The last thing I needed was pity, but I knew that it was just her way of expressing affection. I bit my tongue, trying not to look like a complete bitch as she rubbed my back. I felt pathetic.
“You’re beautiful. Screw Allen. He was all wrong for you.”
“You didn’t know him.”
“No, but I just know these things.” She tapped her temple with her finger. “A guy who leaves a message so he doesn’t have to face you when he breaks your heart is not worth your time.”
“I wish I knew that four years ago.”
“Yeah, but you know now. At least he didn’t waste another four years, right?”
She was right.
When the elevator door opened, I ambled out, forcing my shoulders back to feign enthusiasm as I made my way to my room.
“What do you need, Char?” Tasha continued. “Tell me. I have a couple more weeks before I leave for vacation and I’ll be whatever you need. A shoulder to cry on. A buddy to drink with.”
“No alcohol on the Nexus.”
“Eh, doesn’t stop some people from getting some here.”
I chuckled. I wished I had met Tasha in college when I was a little less uptight, but instead, we met when she was an intern and I was practically her boss. I had an image to maintain, which meant drinking was off the table. As much as I wanted it to be an option, professionalism was important to me.
“I think I’m just going to rest up today and dive right into work tomorrow,” I said as I arrived at my quarters. I slid the door open with a little scan of my Buddy, a wrist cuff for employees that connected us and our ID to the vast Nexus network, and then turned to Tasha. “Thanks for the warm welcome. I’ll see you later.”
“Forget about him and move on,” she said as my door slid closed. “I’ll see you later!”
Once in my small, quiet room, I tossed my bags down on the floor and flopped onto the bed, burying my face in my pillows. I felt defeated, fatigued, and on the verge of falling apart.
But I wasn’t the falling apart kind of woman. I’d done plenty of things on my own. I got an education on my own. I got my job on my own. I could get through a breakup and I could go at life alone, just like I used to.
I was in control…
For the next few days, I updated myself on everything I had to accomplish. Of course, I was back for a reason. I had plenty of work to do. Important work. I constantly reminded myself of that every time I woke up and got into my uniform.
That day, I was in my scrubs and white coat standing in the lab waiting for my subject to arrive. I’d been waiting for that moment for months and yet I was having a hard time really absorbing it. I got in early to get my head together and put myself in work mode, but I still wasn’t feeling like myself, which was a pity.
Allen was even stealing my enthusiasm for work.
In front of me was a bunch of files on an individual who had offered himself for examination. Not just any individual. A valerian. A real, flesh-and-bone valerian. I’d been dying to get my hands on one since we learned of their existence a decade prior. I desperately wished I could fully appreciate the opportunity. As I skimmed over the vague details we’d been provided, I found his name was D’syrion. He was a former captain in the valerian military but he relinquished his rank after what the valerians called “The Thinning.” He was past prime breeding age for his kind.
Other than that, there wasn’t much to go on. There were no photos. No medical history that a human could really understand. I was pretty much about to meet a blank slate.
And because there wasn’t much to study, my mind started to wander again in all the wrong, toxic directions.
I was going to die alone.
No one would ever want me.
My whole life had been a waste.
I heard the door slide open behind me and had to peel myself away from personal thoughts to focus on the task at hand.
Taking a deep breath, I turned around to face the entrance where Dr. Knoles stood beside a very tall figure in a black suit and helmet. Valerians, every time they visited the Nexus, kept their helmets on. It was only recently that humans discovered they didn’t actually need the helmets to function in our environment. They wore them simply as a way to remain somewhat anonymous.
But now the jig was up and we knew they were unneeded. Aside from the environmental readings on the interior of their tinted visors and the fact that the tint did help their sensitive eyes in our bright surroundings, it wasn’t actually essential to their survival.
“Dr. Clair,” Knoles greeted, swallowing nervously. “Your patient. Or… subject. I mean, this is D’syrion. Your… valerian.”
“Thank you, Dr. Knoles,” I said, stopping him before my second-hand cringe levels became unmanageable.
Dr. Knoles was better at desk work. His social skills had always been questionable.
“Right. I’ll leave you to it.”
He left the room quicker than he entered it, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with my guest.
D’syrion didn’t move much. I saw his head turn slightly when my colleague left, but other than that, he stood firm. After the door slid closed, he straightened and put his hands behind his back in some kind of military stance.
God, he was tall.
He had an exaggerated v-taper from his broad shoulders to his narrow hips and the way valerian suits hugged their bodies was like a second skin. Green thermal stripes originated from a control harness on his chest and stretched down his arms and legs, glowing faintly. From what we knew, they were temperature controls for their suits and the colors indicated rank. I looked him up and down thoroughly before lifting my data pad in front of me to go over his files for a third time.
“D’syrion Maljei,” I said, using a practiced tone. “I’m Dr. Clair. Charlotte Clair. You can call me whatever you like.” I cleared my throat, looking around the brightly lit room before I walked toward the wall. There was a digital panel for light controls and I used it to bring the lights down a bit. “I understand valerian eyes are used to dimmer environments, with your home worlds mostly orbiting dwarf stars. I hope this helps.”
I watched his head lift to look at the dimming lights, but he said nothing. I knew he could understand me. Valerians had been observing humans since before we could even dream of traveling to space. That resulted in a large percentage of them knowing at least one human language and from his files, I knew he was part of that percentage.
“You will have to take off your helmet for me to do some of my tests,” I said politely, putting on my nicest smile.
He inclined his head and slowly lifted his hands to take it off. Suddenly, my heart was racing. I felt like he was getting undressed in front of me and I should look away, so I pretended to do things on my data pad as he took his helmet off. When I saw him place it down on a table in my peripheral, I slowly started to lift my eyes.
I skimmed over his long, muscular legs to his narrow torso, over his wide shoulders and finally, to an ash-blue face chiseled to alien perfection. Save for a star-shaped scar on his temple, the man was flawless. At least, to the eyes of a woman who’d only ever seen human men. I wasn’t exactly sure what valerians considered handsome, but to me, D’syrion was the picture of male beauty. A few age lines only accentuated that he had experience. All valerians had three peaks extending from their forehead that swept back along their scalp and one of his was cracked, but it gave him an air of ruggedness that broke up the elegance of his features.
Shit. I was staring too long. I diverted my eyes again, taking a deep breath as I walked toward the padded patient’s table.
“If you wouldn’t mind,” I said. “It would be easiest for me to do my tests if you sat down here. You’re very… tall.”
I stood to the side of the exam table and listened as D’syrion’s soft-soled boots made their way toward me. When the giant black mass appeared in the borders of my vision, my pulse picked up again. It was exciting being able to study a valerian. I was going to be among the first to get such an opportunity. It was more than I ever dreamed of doing.
But I knew deep down that wasn’t the only reason my heart was doing back flips.
D’syrion was hot. Really hot. Alien, but so damn handsome. Allen was suddenly melting into the back of my thoughts.
When he sat down, I glanced up and our eyes locked. Deep, black orbs stared at me. The center of his eyes was a collection of cool-toned colors that could have lulled me into a dream if I let them. Behind his crown, a head of thick, hair-like tendrils extended to his shoulders, decorated with a couple random beads. Most valerians had black hair, but his seemed a bit dull. Almost silver. I wondered if his age lines and silver-black hair was an indication of his age. I didn’t know exactly how old valerians could get or what it looked like when they aged, but even without the subtle, physical details, D’syrion looked like a man who’d seen a lot.
“You seem nervous, Dr. Clair,” a voice said.
It was deep and sultry with a strange accent that sounded almost musical. I blinked rapidly when I realized the voice had come from him.
I was making a fool of myself.
“I’m fine,” I blurted out. “I’m just adjusting to the idea of studying something—someone—that isn’t human. Up until now, that’s all I’ve ever done. I apologize if I’m seeming rude. I’m just processing.”
I started sorting through various instruments on a table filled with all the supplies I would need.
“If it makes you more comfortable, this is the closest I’ve ever been to a human,” he said. “I’m processing, too.”
I looked up and smiled. It was genuine that time.
“It does make me feel better. Thank you.” I picked up a simple temperature reader to start. When I entered my recordings into my data pad, I moved on to another test. Then another. I was going through a typical list of examinations that I would do on a human, but when I got to things that required more touch, I found my pulse rising again.
So unprofessional…
D’syrion’s suit, though skin-tight, needed to come off for me to accurately study him, but unlike most situations, I didn’t want to ask. Still, I was a doctor. I could suck it up.
“Could you remove the top part of your suit, please?” I asked, my voice cracking.
He didn’t hesitate to circle his finger over a round dial in the middle of his harness, which made the material disappear from his upper half in the blink of an eye. I held my breath at the sight of his bare, ash-blue chest. Subtle ridges traced his ribs and a slightly more textured patch of skin indicated the plating that all Valerian’s had under their skin to guard their hearts. Yes, they had two. One to pump blood and another to regulate hormones.
God, he was chiseled like a statue and it took everything in me not to stare at every muscular striation.
Nervously, I lifted my hand and let it hover over his chest. “May I?”
He nodded once and I slowly placed my hand down on his pectoral. I could feel a slight shock of heat flutter between us and drew back for a second before I flattened my palm on him again. I could feel his heart beating in a slow and steady rhythm and swallowed, wondering why I could feel that thrumming through my whole body.
Since biological warfare had affected their ability to breed, the secondary heart in most valerians was not functioning correctly. Some did not function at all, leading to ailments that often ended in death.
I wondered what it would feel like to feel both of his hearts...
I cleared my throat. “I’m going to measure your heart rate and—”
“Do what you must, Dr. I’m here for you to study.”
Nodding, I pulled out more tools to quickly collect all of the data I needed. I wanted D’syrion to sit there with no shirt for the rest of my life, but I forced myself to tell him when I was finished so he could redress.
Two hours later, I’d gotten blood samples, spit samples, and various other readings, but the one thing that all humans and valerians alike wanted to know more about was the reproductive aspects. I took a few deep breaths and turned to my patient as I was inputting the last of my data.
“There is one last thing I need from you that I believe you’re already aware of,” I said.
D’syrion stood off the table and put his hands behind his back in that proper stance of his again and nodded.
“I’m aware. Where should I…” He trailed off.
I pointed to a private bathroom behind him and handed him a small, plastic cup to do his business.
As he walked away, I asked, “Can you? I mean, with your condition? There was no second heartbeat so....”
“We will see, I suppose. That’s why I’m here, after all,” he smirked. “For study.”
I smiled as politely as I could. “Take your time. Even the smallest amount will do.”
It took D’syrion a full hour to give me a small sample of his semen for analysis. Once that was through, I took it upon myself to escort him to a small dorm so he could sleep. On our walk, we barely said a word. There were other Nexus employees passing us by, all trying to get a look at him. It was quite rude, but I wanted to stare as much as they were. It was hard not to. He was so different. He was a real alien walking through our halls. Similar to humans but different.
My mind was spinning.
Once we arrived at a private dorm, I scanned him into his quarters.
“Thank you for your patience today,” I said. “And for volunteering yourself for our studies.”
He stood all proper again and faced me, looking me right in the eyes. I looked him up and down, admiring his physique once more, appalled by how obvious I’d just been.
“You’re military, aren’t you?”
“I am.”
“I can tell. And your file says so. My father was in the military. The marines, more specifically.”
I saw his eyes move as if searching his memories. “I’ve studied your marines. Formidable warriors, from what I gathered.”
I nodded. “What are you? Do you have different factions or something?”
“I’m a haekir. We originated on Sypherion and have bases on all of our planets now. We specialize in search and rescue.”
Just then, my Buddy vibrated on my wrist and I glanced down to see a message that I was needed elsewhere. I sighed with disappointment.
“I’ll have to ask more about it another time. I have more work to do. But your quarters should be comfortable and I believe there is a comms panel if you need anything.”
He glanced at the small room and then back at me. “Actually, I would prefer to stay on my ship. All I need is there.”
I blinked. “Oh, of course. I should have asked before bringing you here.”
“It’s alright, Dr. Clair. You’ve done your job well today.”
I flashed him another polite smile and input an escort request in my Buddy to get him a small security team. I didn’t think he would need one, but it was protocol that valerians had escorts everywhere they went.
When we parted ways, something in me felt oddly empty. Maybe it was the emptiness I was feeling from my breakup, but D’syrion’s absence made it worse. I went through the rest of my work day feeling numb and robotic until it was time to turn in.
But I was restless.
Or maybe I just didn’t want to be alone.
I thought about calling Tasha but settled on my loneliness and lay in bed to stare at the ceiling until sleep claimed me. For an hour or so, it worked. But then I was wide awake again with too many thoughts to manage. My whole life was in question. I was well past the age I wanted to be single. I’d let work take my relationships from me, but I was stuck feeling proud of my work at the same time. My body wasn’t what it used to be and I feared falling into the same depression I watched my mother battle her whole life.
I knew I needed something to change, but I had no idea what it was.
And then I thought of D’syrion. He was a stranger. He was an entirely different species. Why the hell was I thinking about him?
Perhaps because I saw the same loneliness in his alien eyes that I felt in me. Or maybe I imagined it just to conjure up a fantasy that someone understood where I was coming from. How could I possibly expect to be able to read an alien?
I should have grilled him more. I had enough time to ask more questions, but I was trying to stay professional. Truthfully, talking to an alien in any capacity had calmed me down a lot. Being around him had centered me and made me forget about all of my Earthly bullshit.
I wanted more of that.
I didn’t consciously decide to throw out my professionalism. It just happened.
D’syrion was on his ship and I knew where that was. I got up, slid on a pair of leggings and my slippers, and a hoodie. My excuse was that I was being a good doctor and checking on my patient.
I made my way to the elevators biting my fingernails. The Nexus was never entirely quiet. There were people working all hours of every day, but during that time, the docks seemed less populated. I slid my hands into my hoodie pockets and walked along the vast docking bay to the very end where one ship stood out like a sore thumb among all the rest. It was sleek silver and shaped like an arrow. It was only slightly larger than the transport shuttles, but with reflective panels that set it apart.
Definitely alien.
When I stopped in front of it, I noticed the boarding ramp was down and I suddenly felt foolish. I took a step back, wondering if I should just go back up to my room and endure my pathetic loneliness. I was going to have to get used to it sooner or later.
But then I saw him.
D’syrion walked down the ramp and took a small crate from one of the human dock workers. I stilled as if that would prevent me from being seen as the dock worker walked away tapping his finger on his Buddy. He was oblivious, but D’syrion wasn’t. Halfway up the ramp onto his ship, he caught sight of me and I lost my nerve.
I spun on my heels and started to walk away when I heard his deep voice.
“Dr. Clair,” he greeted.
I stopped and turned back around with a practiced smile. “D’syrion. Sorry to disturb you. I was just coming to see if you were comfortable.”
He set his crate down inside his ship and then leaned a shoulder against the side of the entrance, looking at me.
“I’m comfortable. Thank you.”
“That’s good.” I gave it a couple seconds and said, “Good night, then.”
Before I could make a second attempt at leaving, he caught me again.
“There will be more tests tomorrow, yes?”
“Yes. Just a few more. I wish I could steal you longer, but I understand it is still a sensitive situation between your people and mine.”
“Perhaps I will return. But I would assume you want a younger subject next time.”
“I think the goal is to study all ages to find the best way to help you.”
My eyes shifted to admire his ship and the foreign design of it. I’d never seen a valerian ship so close and though it wasn’t nearly as enthralling as the valerian himself, it was still a sight.
Voices echoed through the docking bay and I glimpsed the elevator to see a small group of crewmen in their jumpsuits filtering out to do some late work.
“Would you like to see the inside of the ship, Dr. Clair?”
I looked back at D’syrion and shook my head with a shy smile. “I shouldn’t. I’m sure I would need some kind of clearance to—”
“I’m the clearance, Dr. It’s my ship. And I can tell you need company.”
“You can tell that, huh?”
He straightened and stepped aside as if to welcome me and for some stupid, desperate reason, I considered joining him. Part of me was excited to see the inside of an alien ship and the other part really did just need company. I could have asked Tasha to hang out with me, but for some reason, I wanted a stranger. Someone who I probably wouldn’t see again. Someone who lived on an entirely different world from me.
Unhappy with the idea of sitting in my quiet room alone, I headed toward the ramp, palms sweating, and made my way up to D’syrion. He welcomed me into his ship where I realized it looked more similar to our human vessels than I expected. The interior was empty save for some seating. I could see the bridge from the ramp where a crescent silver table indicated what I assumed were touch pads and digital command panels. It was much more advanced than human piloting systems at first glance.
“Would you like a tour?” D’syrion asked.
“Sure,” I said, although exploring ships and technology wasn’t exactly something that I comprehended easily. Biology, however, was another story.
He walked me around his vessel, but everything he said was practically a different language. I pretended to be interested, feigning my best smiles and nods. It really was fascinating being on an alien craft, but my mind was just so shredded. On the surface, it was all interesting. The moment he started explaining things, my mind shut down. I couldn’t enjoy one bit of it. I felt guilty for that. How many humans had been on a valerian vessel? I was blessed to see one and to talk to D’syrion.
And yet I was being petty and feeling sorry for myself.
When we got back to the bridge, I hardly realized we’d made it around the whole thing.
“Dr. Clair,” he said. I looked up at him, brows raised and bottom lip firmly crushed between my teeth.
What the hell was I doing?
“Yes?” I said.
He tilted his head, studying me. “I took you around my whole ship hoping you’d admit how bored you were and you said nothing.” “What? No. I’m sorry. I…” I placed my hand on his arm. When heat fizzled through my fingertips and up my arm, I pulled back, startled. “Sorry. Your ship is great.”
He chuckled and it was the most handsome sound I had ever heard. I mentally slapped myself for thinking it.
Alien. He was an Alien.
“Look,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I should go back to my dorm. This is so against the rules, I’m sure.”
As I turned to leave, D’syrion reached out and lightly gripped my arm. “I’d like you to stay.”
“You would?”
My voice came out small and wounded. A far cry from the confident go-getter I was used to being.
“I would like to hear why you are unhappy.”
The empathy in his tone sunk right through me and I felt my body melt.
“I really don’t think you need to be subjected to my small human problems.”
“Small? Your problems don’t seem small to you.” He backed up a couple steps and sat down on the edge of a control panel protruding from the wall. “I might be here for your studies, but I’m doing some studies of my own. Tell me what makes a human woman unhappy?”
I wasn’t sure if he was being sincere that time. His words seemed so strange.
But I was a woman in pain and he was an alien about to return to his home where I would never see him again. Who better to spill all my problems to at the risk of embarrassing myself?
With a sigh, I found a small chair of some kind and took a seat. “Ok, what makes a woman unhappy. I’ll start with how I thought I had my life figured out. How I’m not some loud, hyper twenty-two-year-old anymore even if I feel young on the inside. I spent so many years working toward this job and I have been proud of it, but then the man I thought I was going to retire with and have a wonderful life with decided I was no longer good enough. So, now I’m getting ready to retire early like I’d always planned and I have no one to retire with.”
“Where is this man?”
I shrugged, slapping my hands on my thighs. “With some young, slutty bimbo, probably. Someone who can show him the attention he so clearly needs even though he assured me many times that my dedication to my work was not a problem.” Realization sunk in for the hundredth time and I buried my face in my hands.
“Oh god, the amount of money I spent on him. He was probably cheating the whole time and I couldn’t see it. For someone so smart, I am so fucking dumb.”
Tears stung my eyes and I felt that irritating lump in my throat growing as the emotions came to me. Four years. Wasted.
Expectations, shattered. Plans, destroyed. I felt so damn confused and ruined and it was so unlike me.
2: D’syrion
The woman was crying. Warmth settled in my chest at the familiar need to protect something that needed protecting. She was fragile and devastated and I could not stand it. I’d only known her for a day, but in that day, she’d shown me how kind and gentle she was. I stood from my seat and took three strides in Charlotte's direction, crouching down right in front of her.
“No,” I muttered. “No, Charlotte. I do not like this.” My brows furrowed with genuine concern as I reached a hand up and brushed my thumb across her cheek. “You are sad. I don’t know you well, but I’m confident in saying you don’t deserve to feel this way.”
“Maybe I do. Maybe I deserve to feel this way so I know how stupid I’ve been. I just wish I didn’t waste four years on a man for him to just abandon me.” She slapped the rest of her tears away bitterly. “He ran. He couldn’t even face me. He left a message and that was it. I committed years to him and I never saw signs that he would leave. Maybe that’s on me. I shouldn’t have been so optimistic. I should have prepared myself for the worst so I wasn’t so shocked, but I didn’t. I got comfortable.” She perched her elbows on her knees and hid her face again in her hands. “I’m so stupid.”
“Not stupid,” I said, gently prying her hands from her face. “You hoped for security. You cannot blame yourself for wanting to believe you had it.”
“I should have been smarter than that. I’ve always been dedicated to my career and no one has ever had the patience to be with me because of it. I thought he understood and I just… I thought he’d wait. I was going home to tell him I was retiring next year, but… he couldn’t wait. I should have talked to him. I should have told him sooner.”
Her eyes were red and raw and filled with anguish. I slid my hand over her cheek and brushed away a tear with my thumb, oddly fascinated by how transparent humans could be without the ability to change the color of their skin when their moods were in jeopardy like valerians could.
“He could not wait. And if he could not wait, then he is not worth this turmoil you’re feeling.”
Her eyes, vivid and captivating, met mine. “Then… what do I do?”
“You let go of the thing you cannot change and you seek happiness elsewhere. Do not let him steal more time from you than he already has.”
“I don’t know where to seek happiness,” she sniveled, running the back of her wrist under her nose.
Even such a mess, I was captivated by her ability to feel so much. I felt guilty for thinking it was beautiful and dropped my hand from her cheek.
“There are many women who have sworn their lives to themselves where I’m from. With most of our population being infertile, we cannot rely on sexual kinds of connections like we used to.”
“I've done that before,” she laughed humorlessly. “I’ve committed to myself for years. I found out I don’t want that. I want someone with me. It’s pathetic, but it’s true. I want to share my life with someone.”
I understood that desire all too well. My mind wandered to a life I used to have. The family that was once mine. The happiness I shared with them. Charlotte’s sadness resonated with me more than she knew.
“Where I grew up, when a man wanted to court a woman, he had to prove himself,” I said. “It’s an old practice. One that was lost after the Thinning threw my people into disarray and replaced many customs with acts of necessity.”
“What was the practice?”
“First, a man would ask her family for permission to be around her. If she had no family, he would ask her friends. He would earn their trust first. If he could commit to that, then he could commit to her.”
She scoffed. “Allan definitely didn’t do that. Not that I have family. Or friends for that matter. Doing what I do doesn’t leave much room for that. So? What did a guy have to do if she was a complete loner?”
One side of my mouth slanted upward.
“Then he would do things that she might notice. He would give gifts. Tell her things that might make her feel good.”
“Like what?”
I lowered my voice, my eyes flitting about her face, studying her delicate features.
“He would tell her why she caught his eye. It could be that he was attracted to her colors. Or that she had a beautiful figure.”
“Those are physical things,” she snorted. “I don’t feel particularly beautiful right now.”
“I believe you to be.” I spoke before my mind could convince me otherwise. “By my standards.”
Her eyes shot up like I’d just blatantly lied to her. “Y—you do?”
My hand returned to her cheek, my thumb lightly grazing her full lips. “Your lips express everything you’re feeling, even if you don’t think they do. I know when your smile is empty and when it’s genuine. In my short time here, I’ve seen both. And you may not change colors like my people do, but the subtlety of your rosy cheeks and the quiver in your breath gives plenty away. And I do wonder how you will react when… well… when I do things like this,” I smirked, moving my hand down to the side of her neck. Her pulse jumped and I could see her throat bob nervously. “It’s mesmerizing. Every little line in your skin tells me you have experienced life. The pale blue of your eyes is so bright, I can hardly look away. No valerian has such a color.”
My hand slowly slid down her neck further to her chest and she didn’t seem to have the will to stop me. Was it inappropriate? Perhaps. I wanted to explore her as she'd explored me. But I was happy not to have needles and instruments to do so. Only my hands and her flesh. I moved my touch over the plump mounds of her breasts, somewhat hesitant at the knowledge that humans were more modest than I was used to.
But she didn’t protest...
Still, I began to pull my hand away when she suddenly whispered, “Don’t. It’s… it’s ok. You can touch me.”
I gently began touching her again, slowly exploring the curves of her chest.
“Valerian women do not get full like this unless they are with child,” I said, lightly squeezing.
She bit her lip, arching into my hand. “I’ve always been like this.”
“Have you had children?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m pretty close to being past my window. Not that having children is encouraged on Earth.”
I leaned in, taking a breath along the side of her neck. She seemed nervous but not tentative. At any sign of discomfort, I was prepared to pull away, but she did nothing. Gods, I prayed she did not turn away or reject me. I was enjoying her warmth. Her scent.
“I’ve had children,” I whispered.
She lowered her head, letting her forehead press to my shoulder. “Did you lose them in the Thinning?”
I nodded lightly and she placed her hand over the top of mine as if to comfort me. Reaching back with one hand, I brought a strand of my filaments to the front. On it were the beads for my lost loved ones.
“These, I wear for them,” I said. “I’ve been without my family for what seems like a lifetime. These remind me of their company. They are mourning beads.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I do not desire more children,” I admitted, my thumb brushing over her pert nipple through the fabric of her shirt. “But I do desire company.”
Her whole body shivered against me. I drew back and met her eyes suddenly to see that her cheeks had caught fire and blossomed with the most vivid pink. Silently, I studied her until my gaze slowly dropped to the hand still cupping her beast… and then lower.
Her scent had changed. Her color was richer and her pulse had accelerated. There was a knot in my belly that grew tauter the more I breathed her in again. One that was yearning for relief. It was something I hadn’t felt in so long. It was as foreign to me as Charlotte was and yet I wanted... something.
“Forgive me,” I said. “I’ve crossed a boundary.”
I started to pull away when she reached up, locking her hands behind my neck. Within seconds, our lips met and I was taken aback by the sensation. It was stiff and strange and I wasn’t quite sure how to reciprocate. When Charlotte noticed, she pulled away, covering her mouth with her hand like she’d just said something foul.
“I’m sorry. I know your people don’t do that. Humans barely do that. God, what was I thinking? I’m so sorry.”
She tried to stand, but that feeling in my core only intensified at her boldness. I stood with her, unsure how to find relief. When she tried to walk away, my hand came out to brace against the wall, blocking her path. She jumped and turned to face me, eyes wide.
“It’s alright. Humans cannot hide much from a valerian. And you, Dr. Clair, cannot hide much from me.” I leaned toward her and slid my nose along the side of her head, taking another deep breath. She smelled subtly sweet with undertones of something fruity. “Valerians share breath in intimate moments. We do not kiss the lips.” I turned my face toward hers and could see her lashes fluttering as she closed her eyes. “So, you must show me.”
“Show you?” she said, breathless. “I—I…”
Suddenly, she pushed me off her, pressing herself against the wall as if she wished to fall through it. Her eyes skimmed over my body and I watched as it made her chest rise and fall with quicker breaths.
“You’re only here for another day and then you’re returning to your planet?”
“I am.”
“And… what’s this, then?”
I swallowed and took a deep breath, pulling my shoulders back to compose myself.
“This is a very unexpected moment in which I want you very badly, Dr. Clair.”
“Really? You guys feel desire like that?”
“Not often, no. You are... making me feel different. I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised. Perhaps this will help your studies.”
Her gaze wandered as if she was deep in thought. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, slowly releasing it in a way that made me hungry to taste her mouth again.
I couldn’t help it. I chuckled and that seemed to get her attention.
She gawked, staring at me like she thought she was dreaming.
“I find it endearing that you question so much of what I say,” I said. “But if you need further convincing…” My smile flattened and I took a step closer to her, eyes pinning her in place. “The only way I was finally able to provide you any samples for study was when I envisioned your hands instead of mine.”
Heat blasted across her cheeks and ears again, making them a deeper shade of pink. She blinked away the dumbfounded look on her face and started straightening her hair despite that it wasn’t a mess.
I’d made her nervous again.
“I’m too old to not speak my mind, Dr. Clair,” I continued. “But I’ll stop if you wish me to.”
“No,” she blurted. “I, uh… I haven’t been talked to like that in a long time. It’s… nice.”
“Nice?”
“I mean…” Her nipples pebbled under her shirt and it sent shivers to the very tip of my cock. It had been a long time since I had felt anything like that. “I’m past the point of swallowing my words, too, I guess. At the risk of breaking a lot of rules, I would love to know exactly how bad you want me.”
A strange, tingling feeling coated my skin like static electricity was dancing in the air between us. Her scent only flooded my senses further, making her more difficult to resist by the second.
“Give me permission, then,” I rasped.
“Permission to…” She trailed off.
“Just give me permission, Charlotte. You’ll know exactly what I want to do to you.”
The cabin of my ship was growing hot. Internally, I was begging her to accept me lest I spend the night alone on my ship with my utter confusion scraping against my every thought.
Finally, she nodded, her body quivering. “I give you permission.”
I stepped forward and scooped her up in my arms, lifting her body off the floor. She gasped, her legs coiling around my waist and squeezing me tight as I turned her and set her down on the edge of the deactivated control panel. My cock stiffened behind the tight material of my suit, pressing uncomfortably. Tapping the dial on my chest harness, the top portion of my suit receded out of sight, leaving my torso bare. Charlotte drew back to look at me for a moment before her hands began exploring every groove and dip of my chest and shoulders. Slowly, her fingers found my belt where a similar dial controlled the bottom portion of my suit. Her fingers inched lower until she was cupping me through the material.
“Kiss me,” she panted. “You don’t have to know how. Just...” Before she finished, she pressed her mouth to mine, moving her lips until I opened for her. I tilted my head, mimicking her motions until her tongue, soft and sweet, entered my mouth.
There was no reason for it. No purpose. But I loved it. I wanted more. I kissed her back, pulling her tight against me until I felt her grinding up against my cock. I did not know how much I missed that feeling until then. She was awakening a desire I thought I’d lost touch with completely.
My longing was quickly turning to desperation. My fingers slid under the hem of her sweater and I lifted it off her, pulling from our kiss to look down at her bare body. Quickly, she tried to cover herself with her hands like she was suddenly embarrassed. I shook my head, tossing her clothing aside to gently move her hands away. Her breasts were plump and round, taking up most of her upper body. Her stomach was soft and upon the pale skin just beneath her navel was a small, black drawing of a crescent moon. The corner of my mouth twitched at the delicate decoration. It matched the delicate lines of her body so perfectly. My eyes devoured every bit.
Taking her wrist, I moved her hand to my straining cock again, groaning lightly at the feel of her touch.
“Do not forget what you’re doing to me,” I said. “Wield your body as if it shatters my control. Because it does.”
“For a guy who isn’t even human, you seem to know all the right words,” she breathed, pushing her mouth into mine again.
I slid off my chest harness, dropping it to the floor, and then turned the dial on my belt until the bottom half of my suit had disappeared. Then I dropped that to the ground as well, kicking off my boots. Charlotte pulled away to look at me again and her breath stopped at the sight of my bare form. My cock hadn’t been so erect in ages. It was almost as shocking for me as it might have been for her. I was thick and the color of my gray-purple skin only darkened toward the swelling tip, yearning for attention. From my knowledge, we weren’t terribly different from human men, despite the additional texture that decorated our length.
“You’re, um... you’re big,” she said.
Perhaps there was that difference as well…
I growled low at the idea of sheathing myself inside her and wound an arm around her waist, pulling her against me. My other hand dipped past the waistband of her tight pants and down between her legs. I knew human anatomy perhaps more than she knew mine. Humans had been sending their own to us for study for some time while we’d been more hesitant to do the same. I knew they were similar to us in many ways, so when my fingers slid between her sopping folds, I was confident that my size had not scared her away. She was wet and hot and hungry for me.
“As a woman of science,” I whispered gruffly. “Does my size change anything about this moment?”
Without waiting for an answer, I slid one, long finger deep into her channel. She sucked in a sharp breath, her head falling back. She arched into my touch, her knee lifting up against the side of my hip as if to open herself for me. The way she melted in my arms was intoxicating. I bent forward and locked one of her nipples against my lips, sucking. Her body shuddered with pleasure until she let out a soft, delectable moan.
That was all the answer I needed.
“D’syrion,” she finally muttered. “This isn’t supposed to happen, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“This. You. You’re here so I can study you and find out how to make this happen for your people. So?” I pushed my finger deeper, my thumb pressing against a tiny bud at the apex of her slit. Jolting, she let out another moan. “Have your people been lying about not being able to breed or is this like... a really significant moment?”
“This is a very significant moment,” I divulged. “But we can discuss the specifics of it later, if you don’t mind.”
She started to wriggle her hips a bit. I withdrew my finger and lifted it to my mouth. She stopped midway through sliding her ants off to watch me slip my finger into my mouth and suck her sweet honey off. Her eyes darkened at the sight. She shoved her leggings off and, unable to wait, I ripped them the rest of the way off and tossed them aside for her. Pushing her legs apart again, I aligned myself with her entrance and locked my hand behind her neck, pulling her close. We breathed with each other as I began to slide inside, stretching her slick walls around me.
Eager as I was to be inside her, I was not so desperate to forget that she was small. I pierced her slowly, reading every twitch of her body and every whimper of her voice to know I wasn’t hurting her. She nodded as if silently telling me she was alright and I pushed onward, burying my length deep until I could feel the end to her depth kissing my tip.
“Fuck,” she said with a long exhale of relieved breath. “I’ve never felt so full.”
Tears threatened her eyes, but it was the soft smile on her lips that said they were not the same tears she was shedding earlier.
I leaned over her, bracing a fist against the control panel. “I need to move.”
She nodded again. “Fuck me.”
“What?”
“On Earth, it’s just something we say when... never mind. It doesn’t matter. Just—"
I pulled out of her slowly and slammed back in, stealing the last of her words. She cried out, falling back on the control panel with her eyes closed. I gripped her hips, my fingers biting into her flesh as I rocked into her again. Every stroke of her tight body around my cock made my stomach tighten until the tension was near unbearable. I kept thrusting into her. Harder. Faster. She kept crying out, her breath coming and going in a rapid, labored rhythm. She reached back, her hands seizing the edge of the panel as her mouth fell agape with what I wanted to assume was pleasure.
“Yes!” she moaned, driving me onward with even more vigor.
Our bodies slammed together, filling my cabin with the crude sounds of our joining. The knot in my core strained with a need for release. A release that grew nearer with every thrust. Charlotte freed the panel with one hand and slid her fingers between her folds, stroking herself to a new level of pleasure that drove me closer to my own pinnacle.
An aching, heavy feeling strained in my chest, almost painful. I groaned, gritting my teeth as a murmur in my chest startled me into awareness. Not quite a beat, but a flutter as if my second heart was fighting to move.
Suddenly, Charlotte lifted her head, her eyes popping open to look at me.
“D’syrion,” she gasped. “I’m coming. I...”
I leaned over her, combing my fingers through the silky strands of her hair. I hovered my mouth over her lips, my release teasing every nerve in my body. All it took was watching Charlotte’s eyes roll back and close. Her body tensed, her walls squeezing me mercilessly. She let out a throaty moan and began to tremble beneath me. Every sound she made—every shiver—drive me to the brink of my own control, but I did not want to be finished with her yet. I did not want our time to end.
“Oh, God,” she whimpered.
“Again,” I rasped into her ear.
“I… I don’t think I can. I’m—”
I pulled my hard, aching length from her and dropped suddenly to my knees, holding her knees apart so I could feast on the nectar of her release. Her shivering gasp when my tongue traced the length of her swollen seam lit a fire in me. I could never get sick of those pleasured noises. I licked again, finding that little bud at the apex of her slit and teasing it with my lips. Her legs quivered and I thirsted to get more reactions from her, so I lifted my hand, slipping two fingers into her already stretched, sensitive entrance. She arched, her fingers immediately grasping for my head as if unsure whether to push me away or pull me closer. The faster I thrust, the more she squirmed and, not wanting her to come again without me inside her, I rose off my knees, licking her sweetness of my lips.
She raised her head with a soft, disappointed huff, her eyes needy and hooded. She glimpsed my glistening cock as I fisted it, stroking it a few times.
“Don’t tease me,” she muttered.
“I thought you said you couldn’t,” I said, cocking my head.
“I say a lot of things,” she shrugged.
I grabbed her thick hips, rolling her over onto her stomach. Her plump backside was as much a feast for my eyes as her full breasts. My hunger only intensified as her arousal filled the cabin. I lifted one of her legs, bending it onto the panel to open her to me. Charlotte made a little mewling sound, arching her back as if to invite me in. I found her slick hole with the tip of my cock and I drove into her in one, deliberate thrust.
“Oh, God, yes,” she keened.
All I wanted was to explore her. To lay her at different angles. To discover how many way I could make her scream and beg and surrender to me.
Gods, what was I thinking?
I rode her fast, rocking inside her with abandon and watching her body jolt with every movement. Her fingers gripped the slick surface of the control panel, her knuckles white, and I reveled in every bit of it. In every clipped gasp. In every flex of her toes.
“Pull my hair,” she suddenly demanded.
“What?”
“Just do it. Just a little.”
I buried my fingers in her thick locks and tugged, watching the pleasure wash through her expression as I continued to plunge into her tight channel.
“Oh, fuck,” she groaned, the sound strained.
“Am I hurting you?”
“God, no,” she said, consumed by something primal and unburdened by shame. “Harder.”
The fire in my core was nearly unbearable. My stomach twisted with tension, begging me to let loose. I tugged her head to the side, bending over the top of her back and pressing a firm kiss to her neck. She sighed with relief, chanting the word “yes” in quick succession. When a wave of intense and almost painful heat surged through my cock and began to spread, I knew I was at my wit’s end. I thrust into her, hard and deep before pleasure took me by the throat. I dipped my head into the crook of her shoulder and groaned against her skin as waves of dizzying bliss washed through my whole body. I emptied myself inside her, filling her as she cried out my name. Claiming her like she was mine to claim. Marking her with my scent. My seed.
Finally, the last ripples of our shared climax trickled away and Charlotte went boneless beneath me. I slowed my breathing, savoring the scent of her as I slowly lifted my head. She lay across the control panel, utterly spent, her skin glistening lightly with perspiration.
“Oh my God,” she sighed. “Am I dreaming?”
“I hope not. That would mean I’m dreaming, too. And that would mean I would have to wake up.”
She blinked, looking around as if coming out of a daze. “I can’t believe we did that. Holy shit.” She rolled and began to sit up, so I pulled away, giving her room. Walking to a wall panel, I pulled out a simple jumpsuit usually reserved for workers and slid it over my body while she picked items of her clothing off the floor to cover herself. When we turned to look at each other again, there was a moment between us that seemed to go on for ages. A moment that, for me, felt somewhat sorrowful. I was leaving soon. The bliss I felt in our brief time together was about to be lost and the realization had me feeling empty.
“Well,” she said, clearing her throat. "That wasn’t what I was looking for when I came here, but—"
“But there are no regrets,” I said. “None. Not for me.”
Her eyes lit up and a soft smile teased the corners of her lips. “Me either,” she confessed. Another moment of silence spread between us before she tucked her hair behind her ears and slowly skirted around me. “I should get back, though. Right? I have a long workday tomorrow.”
I stepped aside and pressed the controls for the boarding ramp, lowering it so she could leave, despite how much I wanted her to stay. She patiently waited until the ramp was lowered completely and then turned back to me with a smile.
“This really was unusual, right? It’s worth a study I think, considering you’re not supposed to be able to... I mean... what was this? We should look into it, right?”
“Yes. I leave tomorrow, of course. Will that be enough time to do in depth studies?”
She shrugged. “It’ll have to be, right? I’ll figure it out.”
Straightening, she turned and began to leave, her arms crossed under her breasts. I watched her turn the corner where I could no longer see her, thoughts running rampant through my head. The further she walked from me, the more I felt as if some invisible string was being stretched between us. With every step she took, I wanted to take one to go after her. I didn’t care that she was human. I didn’t care that I’d only just met her.
I’d surged with her.
There was no doubt. I’d surged before and I never imagined I could do it again, but the connection I was feeling could be nothing less. I’d forgotten how wonderful it felt. How exhilarating. It was like taking my first real breath of air. My second heart had kicked in, and it was screaming for attention.
Of course, telling Charlotte was out of the question. At that moment, at least.
I needed to find another way to spend more time with her.
Stepping down the ramp, I found Charlotte making her way sluggishly toward the lifts to leave the docking bay.
“Dr. Clair,” I called after her, prompting her to face me. “Perhaps, when I leave, you could come with me. Do your studies elsewhere.”
“Elsewhere?”
“Yes. If your work permits it.”
“Go with you? To your planet?”
“Technically, I reside on a moon. But yes.”
She blinked a few times as if unable to process my words. “I mean... I would be willing to do work off the Nexus. If your people permit it.”
Realizing we were both admitting willingness to find more time to be together made my heart—hearts flutter. I smiled, looking at her like the rare gem she was.
“My people will permit it.”